It almost seems as if there’s a stage of petty bickering and arguing that all relationships must go through. Even if the relationship seems to be going really great, there’ll some a point where you find yourselves bickering. Sometimes arguments pop up from the middle of nowhere – one minute you’re having a great time together, then the next you’re picking each other apart!
Sometimes you feel just as bad whether you “won” or lost! Is it possible to quit the bickering and get along while the relationship is still strong?
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #1 — Will it Matter Tomorrow?
You should only argue about really important things. Is it really important to get your way all the time? Do you think it’s possible? Or desirable? What if she’s a few minutes late for the umpteenth time – is it really a good idea to start nattering away at her about her punctuality? However you react to her tardiness will set the tone for the evening. Does it make sense to start the evening off on such a negative note? If it doesn’t, give her – and you – a break, and drop it.
Don’t misunderstand – there are plenty of big things that might happen that you’ll have to confront her on. The fact that you’re letting the small things slide doesn’t mean you should sit back and give her a pass when she makes huge charges to your credit card. When such major issues come up, you have to address them right away. When something like that happens, you’ve got to sit down with her and address the problem directly. But if she drank the last of the milk last night and there’s none for this morning’s coffee, so what? Have a cup of black coffee and leave it be!
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #2 — Share Your Heart
It’s something about men – we’ve got a bad habit of keeping problems to ourselves. Issues just sit and fester until suddenly there’s a major problem. This is a counterproductive way of dealing with issues. For example, a lot of guys feel bad because their girlfriends never pay for anything when they go out. If this is the case with you, you’ve got to talk with her about it!
You’ve got to be adult about it, though – don’t simply accuse her of being cheap. Not everything that annoys you was done deliberately for that purpose. For example, it’s the custom in many places that the man pays. If, when you talk with her, you find out that this is how she was raised, you’ll know that she wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, but good! And you can figure out a way she can contribute without making you feel bad!
A straightforward, honest discussion with your girlfriend is actually a great way to stay out of fights!
Stop Arguing with Girlfriend Tip #3 — Be a Trend-Spotter
You see, it frequently happens that the specific things we argue about might not really matter much, but if you step back and analyze them, you’ll see a pattern that may be instructive. Try this: analyze how the arguments start and see if there’s a connection.
If it seems that your fights are mostly about money or respecting each others’ time, don’t start another fight, but sit down seriously and talk about that. If she does things that make you feel bad, or stupid, or embarrassed, or whatever, tell her so. She might not be aware. What you must avoid, though, is judging or accusing her. Feelings aren’t good or bad, they’re just there. If you share your feelings about things, you’ll understand each other better, and you’ll find yourself paying attention to each other’s feelings more. Once you start sharing your feelings with each other, you’ll find yourself looking for less contentious ways of doing the things that are causing the problems between you.
Sharing your feelings with your girlfriend is a basic element of what relationships are all about. What good is it to prove that you’re “right” all the time, if all that means is that you keep on arguing with your girlfriend? This is real life, and a real adult relationship you’re in. Make the effort to share your feelings with her honestly and you’ll be surprised how quickly the two of you stop the silly bickering and start really enjoying each other’s company!